Preakness Steaks: Swanson hopes to profit from race losers

Nearly 19 years later, Kevin Bacon in Philadelphia to scout locations on lower Schuylkill River for 'The River Wild 2'

Philadelphia--Kevin Bacon has been wanting to make a sequel to the 1994 film "The River Wild" since filming wrapped nearly two decades ago. "I knew we had made a special movie," said Bacon, of the white water rafting flick filmed on several Oregon rivers and co-starring Meryl Streep. "It taught us all valuable life lessons about rafting and strangers and ... I don't know, all that jazz. Not to get too deep, but the river obviously symbolized the vein of life and the water represented blood. The hijacked raft was a blood clot moving through the vein of life." The Philadelphia native is in town to scout locations for the "The River Wild 2: The River Mild," which is set to begin production in late July of this year with Bacon as the director. Though Bacon's character Wade supposedly dies in the original, he makes a return and hunts down Meryl Streep's character for revenge in Philadelphia during a teacher conference where a low-speed chase is carried out somewhere along the tidal Schuylkill River. "I truly believe that a slow-moving, meandering river can offer just as much action and suspense as a torrent," added Bacon. "This is gonna be a thriller."

To ensure skateboarding in new Paine's Skatepark, Mayor bans skateboarding

Philadelphia--Moments after Mayor Michael Nutter cut the ribbon opening the highly anticipated Paine's Skatepark near the Philadelphia Museum of Art, the city's leader did a 180 and banned skating anywhere on the premises. "Today, we open a great skatepark that finally gives the dedicated skating community a first-class facility to perform their craft. So, it is with great pleasure that I now officially ban skating in any portion of this park," announced Nutter to an utterly stunned crowd. "Now, folks, bare with me for a second. My team of advisers has spent  a lot of time analyzing the consequences of this decision. We feel that by banning skating in Paine's Skatepark it will only ensure that the new skatepark is heavily used by skaters. So, keep out, but, you know, enjoy!" The park's founders were very confused by what had just transpired at the podium. "I think I get the strategy of the mayor's decision but not really," said one park official. "Yeah, to be honest, not really at all."

Comcast SportsNet to broadcast Halladay surgery live

Philadelphia--Comcast SportsNet (CSN) anchor and host Michael Barkann will team up with Chris Wheeler, Ike Reese, Ricky Bottalico, and Ray Didinger to broadcast Roy Halladay's arthroscopic shoulder surgery live on CSN from a Los Angeles operating room on Wednesday. "Oh, we'll be bedside to make all the calls and analysis," said Bottalico, former Phillies' pitcher and current CSN baseball analyst. "We will give viewers a play-by-play and get the doctor's thoughts while he's making incisions and scoping." This is a first for the network and Major League Baseball, which expects ratings to go through the roof during the four-hour procedure. "We're expecting big numbers," said Barkann, referring to the potential number of viewers tuning in. "So big that we'll all be wearing surgical masks with the F.C. Kerbeck logo and Chickie's and Pete's scrubs." The broadcast team, which will fly to California on Tuesday, will also live-tweet the event for fans unable to view the procedure on television. "It's funny," said one CSN employee, "we didn't contact the doctor, the doctor contacted us." (Former Pennsylvania Governor and Eagles Post Game Live analyst Ed Rendell will not be making the trek west because he "does not do well with the sight of blood.")

Suburban commuter boldly taking lack of passenger rail service into own hands

The coffee spills on the center console of the two-door, 2007 BMW 300 series--some, perhaps, years old--act as proof (and, incidentally, lint magnets) of the often relentless stop-and-go traffic that is standard on the Schuylkill Expressway, a nearly 25-mile long spur that connects the Pennsylvania Turnpike to central Philadelphia.

The road accounts for more than half of Dave Berstein's daily one-hour-plus commute from Royersford, Pa, a former mill town on the Schuylkill River, to Center City, roughly 32 miles to the southeast. "I don't like to use the word hate, but I really do hate my commute. I want to be able to kick back and read, relax during the journey," said Berstein, an insurance claims adjuster.

Don't let Royersford's nearly 5,000 residents fool you, the borough is part of rapidly growing western Montgomery County. With a population of 800,000, most in the urban and first ring suburban eastern half, the County boasts more people than Boston, D.C., or Baltimore.

Also making up part of Berstein's trek to the city is US Route 422. The spine of the rapidly developing 422 corridor, the highway stretches from King of Prussia to Reading and beyond and threads together portions of Chester, Montgomery, and Berks Counties.

"It wasn't until the 1980s that 422, the highway, was completed in MontCo," said Ben Kalvin, an urban consultant with the sometimes controversial Southeastern Pennsylvania Federation of Counties. "Why, for the most part, large stretches of land adjacent to the highway remained undeveloped for years is somewhat of a mystery. But, western Montgomery is growing now and it needs transportation alternatives to ease pressure on the roads."  

The Delaware Valley, when it comes to national or international congestion reputation, may not rival Los Angeles or Mexico City, but traffic in the tri-state area can crawl, even if it doesn't appear on a top ten roadway congestion list. Traffic can be awful at peak hours, uglier and nastier than a non-Philadelphian's pronunciation of Schuylkill.

Cliff Lee tells Halladay to grow a pear ... tree in the backyard of his offseason home to help take mind off of shoulder issues

Broad Street Run: Organizers quietly add two inches to course, race now longest 10-miler in nation

The Philadelphia race surpassed Houston's 10-miler, which added one inch last year.

Bryzgalov on Flyers missing playoffs: 'It's just very, very disappointed. The whole situation is very not sexy.'

World's 2nd tallest structure and largest tv antenna somehow picking up new episodes of 'Blossom'

PETA wants answers: Were dinosaurs at PIFA Street Fair given sedatives in order to interact with children?

The animal rights group is concerned the dinosaurs were given dangerous amounts of horse tranquilizers in order to safely mingle with the record crowd.

Photos: philly.com

Charles Barkley: 'Honestly, I wish him well, but It would be a little weird for me if Matt Barkley became a star Philly athlete'

Pennsylvania Fish and Boat Commission requiring Sister Cities Park to register toy boats with state, have proper miniature flotation devices

Harrisburg, PA--The calendar's march toward the warmer months doesn't just signal time for shorts and water ice, it also means the toy sail boats at the hugely popular, one-year-old Sister Cities Park will soon emerge from a long winter of hibernation. The small wind-powered boats will navigate the shallow pond in the park much to the delight of the young wide-eyed onlookers. This season, however, park users may notice something a bit different about the miniature watercraft: a large registration sticker on the sail and action-figure sized, bright orange life jackets on deck.

In an effort to raise revenue, the Pennsylvania Fish and Boat Commission is requiring toy boats in the Commonwealth over one inch in length which use state waters to register and have aboard the proper number of approved miniature flotation devices. Smaller, appropriately sized registration stickers will not be ready for this coming season. For this reason, all toy boats will unfortunately have to use full-size stickers. This may cause the tiny vessel to heavily list to one side, or cause the bow to hang low into the water, depending on the sticker's placement.

"Why don't they just wait a year," said a frustrated Dan Devlin, a model boat enthusiast from Pennsport in South Philadelphia. "The 3"X2" stickers will affect how the sails take wind and they will also dramatically change the boats center of gravity. Think, PFBC. Just wait until next summer when the tiny stickers are available." Devlin often takes his remote-controlled boat to an undisclosed location on the Delaware River waterfront on summer weekends and weeknights.

Nearing the complete one-stop shop: Home Depot, Lowe's begin selling designer clothing, cars, groceries, electronics

Above: A Home Depot sales associate assists a customer with selecting from a wide variety of milk and other dairy products at the home improvement center's King of Prussia, PA store. Last week, big box chains Home Depot and competitor Lowe's began selling groceries, electronics, automobiles, and designer clothing in hope of attracting new customers. "It is quite remarkable," said Steven Bailey, 51, of Upper Merion, PA, "I can come to Lowe's now and get the 2"X4"s I need to repair my backyard shed, but I can also get that pair of skinny jeans that I ...er, rather, my son has really been wanting." Below: Two Home Depot employees walk past a new designer jeans clothing rack in South Philadelphia after finishing a "Jeans Course." Lowe's and Home Depot are spending millions of dollars to train current employees to be knowledgeable on the new products being offered. "The loops around the waistline are for belts," one sales associate told a waiting customer sarcastically. The news sent Target, Walmart, and Kmart into "panic mode." "We're currently exploring the feasibility of selling lumber and electrical stuff at a handful of our stores," said Target CEO, Stephanie Riversby.  

Bar patron waits four full seconds before cracking smile after requesting main TV be changed over to WNBA Draft

Bartender: "It was the longest four seconds of my life."

The Dump is getting out the mattress business ... again ... but they 'really mean it this time'

Furniture outlet says this is the final, final time that they're getting out of the mattress business, but if you miss out there's another shipment of mattresses on the way.

Smithsonian apologizes for 'being way too pushy' during unsuccessful negotiations to acquire one of Roger Ebert's thumbs

Philadelphia Zoo opens new parking garage using lions: big cats prefer own claws to awkward giant scissors when cutting ribbon

"We worked with the lions for weeks to use the giant scissors during the ribbon-cutting ceremony," said one zoo official. "We spent a lot of money on scissor training. I actually thought they were getting really good at using the scissors. Curling their paws and whatnot. Well, I guess you just have to laugh."

Heated Easter dinner conversation centered on pros and cons of completing NCAA bracket after tournament is over

'CHiPs' fan from Louisiana leading effort to rename Lake Pontchartrain to Lake PonchandJon

Kenner, LA--Jayson Gilleau, 40, claims to be the "biggest 'ChiPs' fan in the world," and the seemingly endless memorabilia adorning his home (and front and back yards) in this New Orleans suburb paying homage to the late 70s and early 80s hit television show certainly backs up this bold statement.

So committed to "CHiPs" is the unemployed swamp boat repairman that he began lobbying for Louisiana's Lake Pontchartrain to be renamed Lake PonchandJon, after the show's two main characters Frank "Ponch" Poncherello and Jon Baker, all the way back in 1996.

"Really, if you think about it the Ponch part of the equation is already there, minus the 't.' I just want the state to remove the 'artrain' part and replace it with 'andJon.' I don't really think it's that big a deal," said Gilleau.

Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal, 41, a "very big fan" of the show himself, met with Gilleau back in January after receiving letter number 1,289 about renaming the 620-square-mile lake.

"He is a very determined individual," said a smiling Jindal. "His passion is deep and I admire his commitment to the cause. He made a very convincing case, but--and don't get me wrong, I loved "CHiPs"--renaming Lake Pontchartrain would be a great disservice to Louisiana. I should note that renaming was really never an option, my security team mostly wanted me to meet with [Gilleau] to determine if he was a security threat."

Despite the disappointing meeting with Jindal, Gilleau vowed that his campaign is not over and he will fight on. "The 30th anniversary of the final episode is this July and it would be great if the Lake was renamed in time for that huge celebration that I will be holding on my back deck."

Siren song of the Barclays Center: Devils, Rangers, Knicks moving to Brooklyn

Brooklyn--Move over Nets. Watch your step Islanders. A few new housemates are moving in. The brand new Barclays Center is apparently the place to be these days in the metropolitan New York sporting world.

Several months ago, the Islanders announced they would move from Nassau County to Brooklyn beginning in 2015. The team was unable to secure a new, much-needed facility on the Island. (Technically, Brooklyn is on the western tip of Long Island, so...)

Yesterday, the Devils, Rangers, and Knicks all announced plans to move from their current home arenas to Flatbush Avenue and Atlantic Avenue in Brooklyn, New York City's most populous borough with 2.5 million people (roughly the same size as Chicago).

The Devils move from Newark may be the most surprising of the three teams given that the Prudential Center, the team's home stadium, was completed only in 2007. The Prudential Center was meant to keep the team in New Jersey for "a friggin' longtime."

New Jersey Governor Chris Christie called the Devils' move "cowardly," but added that his focus was still on Superstorm Sandy recovery. Christie said that once Sandy work was complete he would attempt to lure the Phoenix Coyotes to North Jersey.

Plan to construct skyscrapers surrounding Valley Forge Park moving forward

Valley Forge, Pa.--Wow! It's official. Some how, some way, it's official. A plan that appears to turn the already traffic-clogged King of Prussia area into an skyscraper haven is moving forward. No, we're not talking about one high-rise at the edge of Valley Forge Park. This is a plan to "completely surround" the park with office and residential towers no less than 50 stories in height.

At one time, the 3,500-acre park, known for hosting George Washington's encampment during the brutal winter of 1777-1778, seemed miles from development: a massive open preserved space surrounded by farms. But, the Philadelphia metropolitan area, during its march west, long ago engulfed this area of rolling hills that the first president so coveted for defense purposes from a possible British attack.

The park, which sits in Chester and Montgomery Counties, is surrounded by development especially to the east where King of Prussia's office parks, giant mall, numerous strip malls, Hooters, and California-like highway interchanges are a stone's throw from the historic treasure.

"Valley Forge will now be very similar to New York City's Central Park. That was sort of our goal with this plan. Massive skyscrapers will line the pastoral national historical park on both the Montgomery County side and Chester County side," said Gilbert Van Scott, a real estate developer with LandGrab and Associates, a division of Rolle Siblings.

Rectangular conference room table definitely affected vibe during roundtable discussion

"I don't know," said Russell Ballard, when asked about the atmosphere at the meeting. "I can't say specifically, but it was just ... off. Things weren't flowing like they normally do. I don't know, the whole meeting was just ... different. I can't put my finger on it."

Document found near Eagles' practice facility calls for 'Voltron approach to free agency'

South Philadelphia--The 32-page document, titled "The Voltron Approach to Free Agency," outlines the franchise's planned approach to signing free agents for the next several offseasons. The paper was found Monday morning on the sidewalk in front of the NovaCare Complex, the team's practice facility, by a fan who turned it over immediately to a local news outlet. "I hang out down by the facility quite a bit," said the fan, who wanted to remain anonymous. "I was riding my bike on the sidewalk, which I know I shouldn't do, and I looked down and saw this manilla envelop with the Eagles logo on it and I knew this had to be something good. An Eagles official probably set it on the roof of their car and then drove off." The plan, written by Howie Roseman, calls for avoiding big-name free agents, but instead urges signing lesser-known free agents; then, join them together to form one "huge and powerful" free agent. "I didn't read the entire thing but on the second page it gets into how to combine the free agents into one player using duct tape and Play-doh," said the fan. Using the Voltron giant super robot as inspiration, the document suggests five players can successfully form one player using "careful balance, unprecedented teamwork, and copious amounts of duct tape." The Birds have thus far stuck to the plan, signing seven free agents, none being of the big-name variety.

College basketball fan, using tiny pen, will be first ever to fill out entire NCAA tournament bracket on actual metal mounting bracket

Limerick Nuclear Power Plant assures public that bright green Schuylkill River is a St. Patrick's Day stunt, but leaving area 'would not be a bad idea'

Above: A kayaker makes his way along the bright green Schuylkill River near Kelly Drive yesterday. The river was a vivid green from the Limerick Nuclear Power Plant in Montgomery County all the way to Center City Philadelphia, a distance of nearly 40 miles (not including the twists and turns of the river). One power plant official, dressed in full radiation attire, told the public to "relax, but that leaving the area wouldn't be such a bad idea." The nuclear generating station claims the green river is part of a plant-wide celebration of St. Patrick's Day, and a nod to the Irish city of Limerick, in which the Pennsylvania township is named after. "People see a green river starting at a nuclear power plant and they get all crazy," said Larry O'Malley, director of the plant. "We take St. Patrick's Day very seriously here at Limerick Nuclear Generating Station and we decided to dye the river green for this year's celebration. So, please, calm down. However, if you have a friend or relative you could visit in a town three to four hours away from the lower Schuylkill River Valley region, I would advise you to visit that person as soon as is humanly possible. Happy St. Patrick's Day."

Ship captain: 'I had planned to go down with her, but I have little patience for a sinking that drags on like that. I mean, c'mon.'

CIA: Strict regime? Two N. Koreans missing after caught clapping out of sync at Globetrotter game

Popemobile: What the new Pope needs to know

Click on image to zoom and read facts.

High Line fallout continues: Director stepping down after reintroducing freight trains to elevated park

Manhattan--The decision to reintroduce freight trains to the hugely popular High Line park on the island's West Side was not without controversy. The move was expected to raise millions of dollars for expansion and maintenance of the one-mile-long elevated greenway, but many predicted catastrophe even before the first train rumbled through the impressive public space.

Yesterday, exactly one year after CSX trains began moving freight on the line--the first freight activity since 1980--the park's Friends of the High Line board of directors declared the experiment "an overwhelming bust." The park's co-founder and director of Friends of the High Line, Kevin Venegar, who single-handedly made the call to bring trains back in 2012, also announced he is stepping down in the wake of "Freight Gate."

"It was a bad call on my part," said a choked-up Venegar, to a throng of reporters gathered at the southern terminus of the park near Gansevoort Street. "It was quite an eventful experiment, one that went horribly, horribly wrong. I sincerely apologize. I want to thank the board for providing me with countless opportunities to successfully mesh a populated park with an active rail line. Unfortunately, it was not meant to be. I hope I will be remembered for helping bring New York a great space to walk, contemplate, and take in the city from a very unique vantage point. And, hopefully not remembered for all the other stuff."

The "other stuff" included six derailments, one of which spilled thousands of gallons of toxic chemicals into the Gallery District last April, where 48 people were hospitalized and six never made it home. In May, a German tourist, asked to take a photo for a passing starry-eyed couple, was crushed to death by an extremely slow-moving train near West 20th St. The two love birds were so lost in each other they failed to warn the focused photographer.

Pretty sneaky, sis: NHL uses new four-division realignment plan to inform several teams league is contracting